Something my attention has really been amazed with this summer is the passing of time. Ya know, "Time flies when we're having fun" sometimes rings true. It's like, when we are in the middle of something and our attention is not on the passing of time, it seems to go by in the blink of an eye. As I try my best foot forward to embrace optimism, I am always attempting to view activities as fun. Of course having the OneWheel makes commuting fun, random conversations with people on the street or Bart is fun, crushing a yoga flow is fun, and listening to my favorite music is fun. Without doing at least a couple of these things daily I imagine my time would feel dull. Why does time pass so fast when I am on my phone? Is it because I am having fun? How about the quickness of time when I am working to meet a deadline? In all that franticness am I having fun? Ya know, I don't think I have the answer. What I do know, is the passing of time is intense. Something I anticipate working with my whole life. If having fun means time flies do I even want to have fun? Time is precious, and every second that passes we will never have again. In the big picture, it may seem like we have soooo many seconds we just start wishing our time away. Is this having fun? Is that why it passes? What even is fun when it comes to time? I think the focus should shift to "Time flies when you're making it count." And this is where I am, week 5 into my stay in California and it feels as though I blinked and arrived here.
This is a topic that kind of makes me sad. Sad in the feeling of not really knowing how to deal with losing time. Something I also anticipate will only get more intense with age. A topic that makes me stop at least 20 times a day and ask myself, "Are you making this count?" Count towards fun, count towards work, count towards reputation, count towards love... all of these factors that make up life, take our time and most importantly our attention. If I am doing something that doesn't really count towards anything am I wasting time? If I am having too much fun and feeling the time breeze past me like the cars on the interstate and I wasting time? Where is the balance?
And just as time can hold us and keep us waiting for things, I had almost given up on my big presentation to Dolls Kill. More than a month with no contact or feedback. Something that made time drag on. This week, I get a response. A positive one at that. A revamp and invitation to continue the process of working towards a job. Unexpected as I had written that option off and kind of gotten down on myself about it. But the opportunity for more time in the office came knocking and boy did I jump for joy!
Snapping out of my time warp, this week was full of work with the amazing temple crew. The journey of heading to playa becoming all too real. My amazing build buddy/mom Brenda and I showed up one day to an empty site. We talked outside for a bit and decided to get matching tattoos.
Our sporadic thoughts and love for temple was something to preserve on our body. For me, this is a huge milestone. My first Burning Man art piece. As I think about the passing of time and what it means, I know the balance of work and play have to come in somewhere. I find it stressful as a starving artist to speak about goals and ambitions because it's really easy for me to leave out the factor that will guide and fuel my dreams. My dream is to one day build the Burning Man Temple. There I said it. I put it out there. It's probably my biggest dream and goal to date. It isn't a money maker, it isn't going to pay the bills and buy my Tesla, so therefore, most people write it off as less of a priority in life. Most suggest I work for money, and I agree. But much like the concept of fun I fell into above, I see money in that sense, too. This week I just felt super compelled to solidify my dreams and never doubt what can became reality. I can look at my ankle and know that if I never end up building the temple, this signifies a huge step in my life, personally, a monumental project with amazing people who give me life and inspire me daily. A point in time where I left everything I am accustomed to to learn and chase my dreams.