It's October 1st--
This year, in the midst of my extreme ‘slow down’ I have really been taking time out of my day to connect with the sky. The power of the moon in its many forms, is the truest reminder of time and phases, emergence and rebirth. Establishing a ceremony during both the full and new moon cycles have helped me work with intention setting, managing goals, accessing my overall happiness/emotional stress/forgiveness, and has given me a space to feel. To release. To call in and go deeper. As our ancestors looked to the sky, it is the most natural mark of time and abundance. Time and endings.
I feel I’ve always been attuned to the moon, even when I was unaware of its profound effects. I’ve been told I change like the seasons or change with the weather... for so long I thought, “I don’t change, I know who I am”... but turns out I do change, a lot, and that’s a totally true assumption. I do change like the weather, to be honest, it is absolutely so natural to do so. Just take a peek at our surroundings. I am in a constant state of shift, no matter how large or small.
This month is exciting. We begin October 1st with the full harvest moon in Aries. We will conclude the month, October 31st (arrrrroooooo!!!!!) with another full moon. Talk about getting into the ominous spirit.
There is a lot of work to be done. Enjoying this month of falling, as we descend into winter. The closing of a year none of us ever dreamed to happen. It’s the lead up to the next 4 years of who takes the throne to lead our country. It’s a time of major purging. It’s the most real experience of climate change any of us on this planet have faced, thus far. Truly, it’s scary... and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified.
These cyclical balances of nature always lead me back to a place of peace ((if only for a moment)). It is a time of stripping away to the most rudimentary essence of being— listening to our souls voice. Existing calmly amongst all the outward chaos and checking in with the internal chaos.
In Gabrielle Roth’s defining of chaos, she says, “Chaos gets a bad rap in our culture. Chaos implies being out of control, and this makes a lot of people nervous. The word comes from the Greek word “chaos”, meaning empty space or abyss. Most of us are afraid of emptiness because we consider it a vacuum, a negative force. In reality it is a positive space, loaded with potential, free of all the strictures and structures of the ordinary world. Chaos has many teachings, it is the place where all contraries, such as feminine and masculine, dissolve; where opposites are transcended and unified. In chaos it is ordinary to be visionary, which is why it is the realm of art.”
My plan for this full moon is to show up in my body today. To dedicate time and space to my common moon cycle ritual but adapt and open up to the power of the time.
Today my ritual looks like this::
-Dancing ‘The Waves’
- Four card pull from my archetypal deck: Who, Where, With What, Why
-24 Hour Fasting
-Commit to an act of kindness for Self on the path to healing trauma
Today is my first day practicing fasting. It is an act towards the development of willpower in a spiritual sense. This practice of purification and detoxification in the sense of physical matter I allow into my body will provide stronger willpower to detox and purify from other, less essential forms of intake, specifically my diet with social media.
Yoga in daily life says, "On a fasting day one feels physically and mentally light and relaxed. You can concentrate more easily, things become clearer and you can use and direct your energy more consciously. Fasting on the days on which the influence of the moon changes (the 2nd and 11th day) has an especially purifying effect physically and mentally due to the intensified flow of energy."
It's October 2nd. My full moon ritual was extremely potent last night. My 4 card pull offered so much insight into my current situation. The archetypal energy cards, once drawn, live out in the open as daily reminders and odes to the commitments made and information received during the sacred time on the mat discovering them. Last night was special, as I gave some of the ones that have been out in the open back to the deck. Last night felt like a good time to revamp my alter and release some of the older archetypes back into the wild. The cleansing of these cards from my space will allow clarity and a more focused path for the questions that arose as they revealed themselves. There is one card that I have repeatedly overstepped day in and day out. I usually look at it with disappointment and nervousness because my will to stay true to it has been basically non-existent. Last night, I decided it was time to let it go. It hasn't been serving me for a while and clearly I have not been aligned with its purpose in many ways. I released the guilt around it to build a new story-- one that encompasses more, though I know that card will remain in my mind for time to come. These rituals stir up emotions from the deepest parts of my soul; with them, I connect to something far beyond anything I could ever understand. Every. Single. Time. I am grateful to begin this month with a storyboard and a little comfort in the unknown.
My dance was full of tears. Seriously. The movements drew so much sadness to the surface. My head just feels so heavy and full-- it's this sort of longing to head-bang my thoughts out coupled with this feeling that I couldn't head-bang hard enough if I tried. I haven't danced in a room full of strangers in nearly 10 months... I felt the impact of that last night. I need the magic of release in a room where I don't know anyone. I need an ecstatic dance circle, far away-- my heart is calling and I will find myself in one by winter.
The fasting was a success. I had a well balanced day of play, work, and rest. It was my first 24-hour fast and this morning I feel very abundant. Possessing the willpower to stay connected to myself through times of considering "just a bite" was really refreshing. I am really learning and beginning to work through healthy restraints in my outward life. The way I eat is such a spiritual marker for me so incorporating another kind of personal practice feels great. One of my spiritual teacher's works from the basis that if it makes you feel good, do it. My relationship with food remains an extreme source of happiness and comfort for me. I am excited to really access how fasting will fit into my cyclical practices.
I think at this point in my life, where I stand right now-- I long for faith. It's been really hard to stay positive and show up for myself time and time again. My incorporation of the cycles and seasons are an act of grounding and settling in to my space. Meeting myself where I am.
Moving forward this month, my intention is "IT IS OKAY TO FEEL" and I will be chanting Rilkes "Widening Circles" to call in those feelings that I have blocked or became numb to. On the pursuit of unlocking my trust, I'll move forward with the principle "Accept All, Reject None." I am immersing myself in the energy of Anima Mundi and trying to alleviate my overwhelmed feelings of the vastness---- feelings of being lost in the meaning of it all and how I got here in the first place.
My friends, enjoy the nature of fall. Onward.