Updated: Jul 9, 2019
Wow, hi. It's been a heavy weekend. Writing backwards to vent the details, then a new post of my awesome first day on the build. Here, I'm going to start right after.
An amazing 10-6 work day after temple build I was setting out on my wheel for the 8 mile journey home, (ikr?) Finding myself on a detour through Berkeley because I was feeling too spent to cook and was really craving some color from the yummy ss&b joint on Shattuck, sweetgreen. While enjoying my dinner there, it crossed my mind that maybe I should check the battery power on my wheel, but as I naturally get mesmerized by food, I kind of had other things going on. I charged to 100 before leaving and typically haven't been doing extensive day drives so figured I was set for a full day's charge.
As the universe always lends us these little hints, through voices in our head to eye connections to little messages or puzzle pieces along the way... I passed a man on his bike at a cross walk, making brief eye contact with me reading it as a "that seems dangerous" look. At this point, I zoom by because all I am thinking about is soaking in a warm bath and Pretty so far in my planning for that I kinda forget I had a board under me zooming 15 mph (it's wild how things become comfortable). Before I know it, with no warning I'm sliding on pavement. Thankfully on a bike path and not in the road, but yeah, pavement. Adventure sporting is super new to me in this "say yes to the scary shit" phase of my life... it's like, with yoga comes this crazy adventurous "I can do anything" mindset and so here I am, in my physical body, experiencing a real life challenge. Like a challenge in binding warrior or falling out of warrior, except this time its falling off of my mode of transportation. It's been really exciting to apply learning to fall out of yoga poses gracefully and appropriately to that of diving off my OneWheel. After I breath for a couple seconds I look up and see the dude I passed just seconds before and he hesitates "Are you okay?" Spends some time with me making sure I'm okay from bumping my head (I guess here's time to mention I was letting ignorance lead me in not wearing a helmet). I got it together and had 6% battery to cruise home at about 3 mph. Being me, I'm still thinking about this damn bath. I get as cleaned up as I can without many resources and channel my inner angst as I get into the tub. In all this blur and uneasiness I look down to more challenge, my phone sinking in the water. I think, "Oh fuck, how will I call Uber?" And yet again, my bath is disrupted. In that panic mode of jumping out of the tub (this has happened in some pretty big moments in my life) I have to find rice and a bag and try not to bleed on everything in the process! Basically, the rest of the night speaks for itself and it was really just time to call it quits, lesson in progress, thanks universe.
Saturday following was tough. I woke up super confused and emotional and feeling overwhelmingly lost. Lost in all my decisions and scary shit attitude. I needed my own bed, my best friend to snuggle, and a break from constantly working (towards something) and the stress of what that something even is. Saturday for me was draining. I drank a smoothie and cried off and on all day- homesick, doubtful, beaten up. I finally took some Tylenol (which I definitely always always try to avoid), drank lots of water and felt the headache go away, ate my number one comfort food and drank coca cola for dinner, rolled around outside and listened to Kanye's David Letterman interview on Netflix (Do it, seriously). Finally winded down enough to rest and try again the next day...
Writing this, I am not sure how, but those feelings are not the main focus of my day. I somehow am able to flow without the major weight I was carrying Saturday. Maybe I just needed to voice them and release them into the world, cry and really fucking feel those feelings. I have been observant in finding that the more I speak and put out, the more I am able to obtain, whether it's mentally or physically or spiritually. There is always a lesson and guidance when thoughts become words. These words may change reality or at least my perception of it (shout out, Nard... I appreciate you, man.)